You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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