you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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