I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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