i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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