She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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