normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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