I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
