you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Come on in and take your pants off
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