So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I enjoy the company of your penis
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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