He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
