grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
