You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
