so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
