kristin has been a bad kristin
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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