He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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