Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
