I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize