I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
