in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
