You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
