She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
