it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
