At least make sure they are 18
Why
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
