i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
