It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
