Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
