Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
