Quick, to the slutcave!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
