I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
