i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
