There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
