just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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