How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
