There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
