What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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