just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
