In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize