Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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