I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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