I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All I want is dick and wine.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
