The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
