I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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