It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
