What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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