If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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