I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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