I must be too annoying 4 u.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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