The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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