I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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