I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
