Sry I called you an 8
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
