heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
