From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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