hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
