come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I am available for nakedness
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
