I think i peed on brittanys purse
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
