once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
