I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
