a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
