So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
