you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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