Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Non-Jews are for practice
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
