my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize