you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
