i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
