In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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