Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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