It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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