Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
