I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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