Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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