If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize