He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
