She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
