Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
