just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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