Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
