Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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