He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
