have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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