dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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