we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
