Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize