dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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