she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
