when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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