I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize