How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
